"Futbol no es para las mujeres"

Soccer, apparently, is not for women.


To my surprise, a group of girls in my town recently organized a soccer team that was to compete in a local league of about four other teams. Of course I was happy to help them out with coaching, and I began practicing with them - showing them drills and giving them tactical advice. I thought, "This is great. Here we are, in one of the most machista countries in Latin America, in one of the most machista towns in the country, and yet girls are playing sports."


Well one unfortunate afternoon I was out practicing soccer with the girls as usual, when I fell in a hole on the field. Well, if you've never been to a soccer field in the developing world, here is what they usually look like in contrast with the US:


HONDURAS:



UNITED STATES:


















Ok, slight exaggeration. But the point is the field was really bad. When I fell I heard a few pops in my ankle and I knew it was serious. Miraculously I limped back to my house and called the Peace Corps doctors, informing them that I thought I had broken my ankle. Two days later I went to the closest hospital (3 hours away) where they put a cast on half my leg and informed me that I tore a ligament. Nice.

So I hobbled around town for 3 1/2 weeks, answering the same question over and over again. "What happened?" "Does it hurt?" "Is it broken?" "Why did they put a cast on you if it's not broken?" "When are you gonna play soccer again?" "If you want, I can take the cast off with my machete. That way you won't have to go back the hospital to get it taken off." (Needless to say, I declined the offer.)

Here is one particularly interesting conversation I had.

Fat ugly Honduran dude who doesn't bathe regularly: "I know why you got hurt playing soccer."

Me: "And why would that be?"

Fat ugly Honduran dude who doesn't bathe regularly: "That's easy. Because you're a female. Soccer isn't for women, you know."

Me: "Oh?"

Fat ugly Honduran dude who doesn't bathe regularly: "It's true. Only men should play soccer because we are stronger. Women get hurt easily."

Me: "I had no idea! Men don't get hurt playing sports? You're kidding!"

Fat ugly Honduran dude who doesn't bathe regularly: "It's a fact. Men don't get hurt because we are genetically better than women."


So there you have it, Honduran wisdom at its best. Men never get hurt playing sports because they are genetically better than women. They say you learn something new everyday.